"Dive Bars are like an old sweater, comfortable but might have an odd smell. They are like a mad lover, the sex is great but you don't want to be seen with them in public. Maybe you love Dives because everyone there is just as messed up as you are. The more you discuss this the more you find out why people love them. There seems to be no end, an unconditional, bottomless love for the Dive Bar."

• segment from the The Dive Bar Qualifier by Ted Maguire, the accomplished author/bartender and appreciateur of Dive Bars everywhere.